Despite all the legal and societal changes in the past thousand years, the past hundred years, the past ten years, shifts within human hearts clearly take eons.
Misogyny is perpetuated when people procreate and then form children’s conscious thoughts into mirror images of their own mindset. And it never stops. Removing some of those people from the gene pool will surely advance the human race at a faster pace, no matter how minuscule each step might be.
To be honest, I also get extreme satisfaction from cleaning up, from wiping away all traces of myself — every fiber and hair and sloughed off piece of skin. I’ve always loved the soothing appearance of a spotless surface, dust wiped out of a room, grit sucked from carpet fibers and mopped off of tile floors. There’s an added layer of pleasure from knowing that I’m not leaving an imprint of myself. People could search a room or a house and never know I was there.
The rewards in my work come from the pleasure of accomplishing what I set out to do. I’m rewarded by the satisfaction of helping individual women and helping, however slightly, to move society forward.
Whether my work puts me into the altered state of consciousness Gavin spoke of, needs further consideration.
My reward also comes from executing my plans without being caught.
Of course, there’s always a chance I’ll miss something tiny — an eyelash, or the faint smudge of my fingerprint on a surface that isn’t obvious. No one’s perfect.
This is why it’s important to keep as much of my identity as possible off the internet — that giant sucking machine that’s cataloging everyone’s lives, preserving every thoughtless word, and every casual photograph. For eternity.
From The Woman In the Photograph
…ebook now available.